If I Could

turn back time, I would like to be sixteen again. I am not going to get myself involve in puppy love because those are all craps. (my ex keeps on viewing my profile from time to time. motif apakah pun tidak tahu. not going to talk about him here anyway. wish him happiness all the way.) I am not going to get myself wasted. I would not have to spare myself for the terrible pain of break-up. (Well, who has not anyway, right? But of course it's such a big waste when you're only seventeen when your main focus should be put on studies. But it taught me to be stronger somehow. Should be grateful for the bitter-sweet memories. Note: Would like to clarify on one thing here. I won the cross-country when I was in form four not because of him as all thought it was, but it was because of the secret formula that Hannan and I had invented that time. But Hannan, I think we should revise the formula because the technique actually works the other way around. Beside the formula, we might had won definitely because of the all-out effort that we'd put, to constantly run that day.) I would stay in that good class with good people to study in (not that my classmates were all bad but some of them were. Ouch.) Will get good result, way better than what I got, and fly myself abroad. Meet wonderful people overseas and end up being what I wanted all these while. Comes the reunion, I will not have a single doubt to join the crowd and teachers will be proud of me, being part of the excellence. But it's too late now. I am all messed up. I fucked everything up. Tahniah kepada diri sendiri. I should have listened to mommy. ---This is my biggest regret among my other regrets---

But come to think of it, I should be grateful somehow. At least I did not end up wandering at the streets. At least not for now la. And perhaps this is the best for me. Who knows, right? Semua orang kata "You should make the best of what you have." I'll try OK, I'll try.