A Comeback. For Good.

Heyya people. It's been soooooooo long that I have not posted anything in here. Now I am back! It's still the same old me, with the same old look, (but not that pathetic anymore, at least not for now lah kan. Eheh) the one who would always have bad luck to have the HONOR to see people in the next car next to her picking their noses and she swears to dear god that's sooooooo gross! Euww (Suddenly I remember about an incident last week when I was waiting for my burger at a stall nearby, I saw a man picking his nose and I was almost thrown up! Oh please, boleh tak pick nose dlm toilet sorang-sorang kalau nak? (oh,,and please jangan lupa cuci tangan kasi bersih.) Geli tahu tak?

Ok Ok I am off topic now. Truth is, I miss blogging to hell, I miss visiting my blog list, and now I am left far far behind, of you people's updates. Pardon me for being soooo into my studies *puke puke to infinity* haha. I have got a lot to tell, mind you, it's really a lot, but I am still in my examination week, but still I want to post on things, so no choice except to cut the stories into pieces la, to make it short. Hehs. Good news, I've got a new computer! My daddy cool bought it for me. And it was a surprise! Terima kasih abah! I went back to my hometown a few days before raya to find out that a new computer was ready to serve me. Cool, huh? Actually my brother had called me earlier la, telling me that daddy called him asking about computer bla bla bla and he told me not to be a drama queen, not to cry-out-of-happiness sort of things, you know, and I was like “whatever” because I thought he was just teasing me. He loves to tease me anyway. That's his number two hobby I suppose. Loser! Haha. And then everyone in the house started to claim that they had contributed in influencing daddy to buy the computer. But I guess mommy was the one, because she told daddy that I was crying over it day and night (oh-so-crazy la) because my little sister and little brother told her that I was really crying when they read my last post (oh-so-crazy-little siblings-i-have.) Anyways, I have got a new one now, and it saved me lotsa time! Thank god. Thank you abah. Thank you emak. Thank you everyone, for making my life sooo great. And my hari raya was fun too, as always.

I headed a very hectic life this semester. I got the chance to do observation in school and it was enjoyable. Poorly, teaching still is not a passion for me, but I think I can cope with the students (at least with those I observed) because I saw my brother and sister in them. OK, I am being quite irrelevant here as my team mates said, but they were all young and funny and cute and entertaining to me. I wish I am going to have funny-but-brilliant students when I do my practicum next semester. I wish. Would you like to see my wish list for practicum? Oh surely not because I can guarantee you that would be deadly boring. Yawn.

This semester too, I did learn from my mistakes about life. The more I think of life, the more I understand that life is not that bad. It's just how you want to live it. And I think life is all about making choices. It's all about to be or not to be. It's all about to do or not to do. It's all about you and the options your have. And the choices are all yours. And I have decided on major things in my life. I want to be happy. And I am not going to look back anymore, it's final. All these while I have been wasting my time on wrong persons, wrong things, wrong paths. Now that I realized about it, I don't want to get wasted anymore. Thank god for making me realize. I actually have given it several thoughts before I jumped into decision-making. And I pray to god that all the decisions I made were the best for me. And for you, too. Like I always said, I don't want to waste my time on cheap men and rough wine. That's my favorite quote all my life. I know I sounded like "macam-bagus-sangat" but if you know me well, then you would understand why. I am just being me.

Ok now I sound old and boring. Boo. Guess what sexy people, I went out for a concert last Saturday and it was cool because we got The All American Rejects to perform! And you know that's one of my favorite band, don't you? And I bet everybody knows how cool they are, right? So, where do I start? It was raining, you can see there were raindrops on my tudung. We arrived there a bit late that day, therefore we had to line up for an hour I think but still we managed to fake smiles. I'm putting pictures as proof. Hehs. Oh I wanna I wanna I wanna touch you, you wanna touch me too is an addiction la. Swing swing swing from the tangles of my heart is crushed by a former love is my all-time-favorite. So does dirty little secret. and move along. and it ends tonight. and straightjacket feeling. and gives you hell. God, they rock, I just love their music! And Tyson too. Though he's kinda weird as all can see. Eheh. Overall, the concert was fine. Hell G-R-E-A-T I mean! :P But deep inside me, I was feeling guilty actually, I was thinking of lotsa things and partly because my aunt, uncle and cousin were doing ibadah in makkah and here I was attending a concert? Like “what?” But bagi chance la dekat I kan, once in a while to go out and have fun. Kan? Hehs.

Ok it's three in the morning and I think I have to stop now. In short, my life went well up to this very moment. Though I fucked up in my micro teachings, though I did not do well in my assignments, though I did not manage to answer my exams, though I broke hearts, I am still glad that now I have people in my life who would love me just for what I am. I am not the best student, neither I am a rich girl, nor a pretty one, I admit it, but I am having all the love in the world with me now that I don't have to impress nor convince anyone that I am a super great person to reserve me the right to be loved and I am thankful enough for that. Thank you.


[you can click on the image to get a larger image you know? And I just knew it and I think I was such a pain in the ass! oppss. please God stop my swearing habit. haha. poor me la. and one more thing. it's so amazing to discover that my-little-year-three-cousin has a facebook account. so do my other little cousins. and they were interacting with each other like adults did! they were engaging themselves with things i have never heard of in my entire 23 years of life and wow, i think that's fast and pretty cool, even i couldn't catch up so well with technology . or maybe i was just too slow and not cool? ouh the torture of technology. ]


[p/s: was it really long i have not logged in sampai banyak features dalam blogspot ni dah berubah? and i'm kinda lost here. how do i put colors to my words? how do i change the alignment? how do i choose the font? help! help!]

Dugaan Bulan Ramadhan

7.15 p.m.

It's raining heavily outside. I have got absolutely nothing to eat. My computer is not functioning and I can't afford to buy a new one and nobody seems to care. Bagi sikit simpati pun dah cukup, I am not asking for more. I am emotionally abused. I have got nobody to go to, nobody to talk to, and absolutely nobody cares about me, not even the person that used to be sooo in love with me. That includes Andres as well. I don't get a single message through my phone and I think I'm going to throw them away soon, very soon, no kidding. I have got fuckload of assignments to be done, together with the tests, not to mention the presentations and those are torturing enough. I have got snobbish classmates who downgraded my friend and I and the humiliation was unbearable. [To the snobbish classmates, though you are among the dean's list students, that does not reserve you the right to underestimate other people. Orang lain pun dapat dean's list jugak, tapi tak berlagak pun macam kau. Nanti kalau tiba-tiba tuhan tarik balik nikmat bijak yang Dia bagi kat kau, baru kau tahu. Bila kami tanya kau face to face, kau buat-buat baik pulak. You suck million times, I am telling you now, bitch. You've lost my respect. I have failed the test by saying this in the month of Ramadhan, I know.] I simply had lost my patience and my sanity. I lost my appetite too, I hardly eat these days. I am in tense, I don't get enough sleep, stupid pimples keep growing on and on and on and it's painful, dark circles are now visible, I am feeling under the weather; having flu and cough and mild fever and people keep on giving me hard times. I am sick and tired of all these. Now that I wish I could vanish just like that. Tuhan tolong ampunkan Syahirah. But these are too much.

Home Sweet Home

Holla everyone! I'm home! Yeay! It feels soooooooo good to be home. I have got a lot to tell but I am extremely sleepy now :( So good night. And do not forget to recite your niat. Happy fasting everyone :)

Very Quick Update

Heyya. U know what, I forgot my password! Ah-ha! No kidding! I was visiting my blog list and commenting on a few posts. To enable myself to comment, I am required to login and there I stumbled, desperately trying to recall my average-long password. I have to sit back and relax, only after a while I could remember it. Betapalah lamanya tak sign in. Haha. I'd love to blog, I'd love to read other's blogs but I hardly get the chance to online for blogging purpose. I realized that my life is fully occupied with tons of assignments now. I have very limited time to socialize. Kesian kan? So friends, janganlah kecil hati kalau lama saya tak melawat blog kamu ya. It's not that I forget or not interested in reading yours. Bukan. If I have free time, I will surely go and visit, promise.

[p/s: It's such a lonely day. Oh I hate this part. Isk.]

Of The Happy Moments

Hello everyone. It’s been a while since I last wrote in this blog. I think I have lost my flow of writing now and the thought of it is terrifying me. Neither I am implying that I have a flawless writing skill but at least I was able to sit and write out sensible thoughts (and sometimes my insane thoughts upon things too) before. I wanted to make a few posts earlier sharing my experience getting back to school but I was facing problem with the connection that has made me to wait like a week. Once it was fixed, another problem turned up, affecting my computer and until now it’s not fully fixed. Shit happens you see.

And now it’s already the third week of schooling. The classes are all OK. Though there are not so many students inside the class I am in now because there are a lot of rumors (obviously of the bad things) spreading about the lecturers whose teaching my class but I am so much engaged to my classes now because I have got to get more attention and I am pretty sure that the lecturers would remember my name by the end of the semester. I personally think that it is quite unfair to judge the lecturers when you have not even met them yet, to claim them to have certain manner merely based on people’s talking. Please do not get offended, this is just my personal opinion. This is my way of seeing things, as always. I would rather be in the class first, only then I would not feel guilty to rank them to be either nice or monstrous. And my judgment is subject to change from time to time depending on the treatment I am getting from them. Yes, I am difficult. Have not I told this earlier? But so far, the lecturers are all OK I would say. In fact, I have started to favor a few lecturers as they are all young and talented and knowledgeable and beautiful and they have the qualities that make them to be an effective lecturer. (Except for this one lady, it’s quite true that she’s some sort of strict and scary. Haha.)

I don’t want to give emphasis on the dark sides of happenings in my life. Yes there were several things that I don’t expect would turn to be like that but it turned out to be like that, and I could do nothing to fix it because there’s no way out of it, and I think it’s going to stay that way, no regret. I would rather put the memorable moments here. So far, I am coping quite well with studies. No doubt I have fuckload of assignments that have to be done in short time, I am done with two presentations, I am submitting one assignment as I write this and I am getting a foreign lecturer who has a beautiful British accent that makes me feel like studying abroad, being friends with Kate Nash (hey I love her songs and her accent. But it’s kind of hard to make the accent into practice as I had mentioned before) to replace my lecturer who went missing (hahaha) for maternity leave and she will only be back in September. Hahaha.

I have had a lot of fun too. My friends and I went to Genting Highlands and we got the chance to stay there one night. Thanks to Rain and Zul for the hotel treat. It was my second time to be there and my friends were being crazy pushing me to try almost all games there and I screamed as if I was going to die when I got onto that Cyclone and a few other games and it was fun. I have taken the chance to try go-cart-ing too and I was the last person to reach the final lap and I think it’s still impressive considering the fact that I have stopped driving like five years now. And should I add that I like the weather there. I think I really need to be abroad now. Everybody can dream as they say, right? Hahaha. Here I am going to include some pictures that were taken there. I also got my cousin accompanied to her friend’s wedding and I was dying to see her house is equipped with elevator. The family is so rich obviously. They got the Upin and Ipin mascot too because the father is the owner of that particular company. Cool, don’t you think? I also went out with my roommate and Andres some day around and both outings were great. Andres brought me to a place I have never been before and treated me nicely as always. We always try new things when we get together and that’s what I like about being with Andres. Thank you.

I think I’d better get going for my Human and Development class at 4.00 p.m. My aunt asked me to do her a favor by helping her to sell her baju kebaya that she bought in Jakarta and I think I am going to put the pictures of those kebayas here just in case you are interested in buying. The materials are very good and up-to-date and the price is affordable. I’ll put that later OK because I am running out of time now. Till then. Have a good day, people.

Is He Really Dead?

Eyy, what happened to Michael Jackson? Is he really dead? Though I am not a big fan, I only listen to several songs of him as a matter of fact, but I want to know if the news is real. I found this when I was meaning to check my emails. Shall we recite Al-Fatihah? As some say that he has converted to be a muslim with Mikail (or something like that la) as his name. If he has not, then just forget about reciting Al-Fatihah for him OK. May he rest in peace.

Shall We Dance? Because This Is Going To Be FUN!

Semester is scheduled to start like ten days from now. *sob* And so, I was checking on my timetable (aww, feel like I am back at school by mentioning the word "timetable") for next semester. And I was so gay, (oh puh-leeez) to be having to get up real early since my beautiful weekdays will be filled with morning classes. Never in my life I have been a morning person, please take a note and credit to me. And I am too delight *gasping for air* to mention that Tuesdays are going to be my luckiest day, considering the fact that I am going to have seven (I repeat, SEVEN) hours of class that day. Geeee, thanks! I wonder how do I fix the schedule, to make it more sane, or in other words;

1. not to wake me up too early for classes,
2. to have more free time, (OK OK, I know it is way too much to ask for.)
3. or at least to have a more balanced schedule. Yes, I want a well-balanced schedule. So badly.

But I am going to like Mondays, considering the fact that I am going to have just a two-hour class which will start only at 5.10 p.m. Cool, isn't it?

[p/s: All of sudden, I am feeling nostalgic. And I do maths before I sleep. Therefore, I am a total freak!]