It's a Girl Thing

Hi people! How are you doing? I am fine here. Oh at least for today and yesterday. A lot of things happened these days. Someone (Oh I mean a couple) that least expected to talk behind my back, talked behind my back. Oh it’s OUR back, pardon me. People had lost their courtesy these days, I do not know why. I am not saying that I am the most courteous girl among all but I think I do not have the guts to talk of my darlings behind their back.

OK, let’s just move on. I had a real long catching-up session last Thursday, when we had finished our BEL500 paper. The paper was OK. I think it was. Once finished, we went to a car wash as my friends wanted to wash their cars so adat menumpang, ikut sajeklah mana mereka pergi. There were thirteen of us. It was great since we were not catching up with each other quite sometimes due to numerous factors. And you know how much I enjoy going out and hanging around with my girl friends, even to the car wash rather than being locked up at home and ended up boring myself to death. We went for lunch at a restaurant called “Restoran Mulus” and it cost us such a fortune. OK. I am not trying to exaggerate but the price was quite expensive in comparison of what we have as students but the best part is mine was the cheapest among all though I took almost the same dishes. “Mungkin I kelihatan seperti muka budak comot yang amat kasihan kot.” I have told my friends. And they laughed. Betul lah tu. Hehs.

I was then engaged with three of my friends, talking about blogs while others were carried away with news in the newspaper of a 19-year-old girl who married a rich man of 40 years old, given a Mercedes Benz and a million ringgit plus hired as the board members at the same time she has become one of the biggest share holder of the company, automatically. Oh, my friends. But we do not talk bad things about people OK, I remind you, we never did. Yes, we did gossiping when we gather but we do not bad-mouthing, especially of our darlings. As for me, I will stay away from your business as long as you do not mess with me. Haven’t your mama told you don’t play with fire? If you do not like me, or what I am doing, just tell me, but make it in an appropriate way, oh of course, or else I will cry. (Though I am fragile, very fragile as the matter of fact, to cry in front of the crowd is quite a No-No to me, unless I really could not stand the pressure. Cool isn't it?) So does Rose. And Yuyu too. We were frustrated to know that people we trust were talking at our back. We can always talk as housemates, as friends, as civilized people. I think we seriously need to sit and discuss of this matter. But at least I know now that I am a normal person; that some people may like me and some may not, just like what my counseling lecturer once told us; that it's OK to have people with different views of you. We are only human. And I personally think that to be both liked and disliked is normal and we cannot always satisfy all parties at once but of course we have to reflect back ourselves and hence work for the betterment once people started not to favor us. OK, I am a bit off topic now. Let's get back.

Since the four of us shared the same interest; that is to talk about blogs, of what people write, of our preference, of the benefit we are getting and so on and so forth, I suspect that those friends of mine do have their own blogs too. Beware friends, I will go figure. And will get to you girls soon. Along the way, my friends once said “Oh come on Kak Shiro, your life cannot be that pathetic. I have a different view of you and your life now. I thought you were happy. Oh come on, you must have good memories to be shared too. I am requesting a happy entry for once, at least.” I laughed. Then I told her “Darling, if and only if you know how my life is like. It’s not that easy as what you think.” I will make a good actress if I am needed to be one I bet. In fact, we are all actors and actresses in our own world, aren't we? I am quite reserved to those who do not know me well. I mean, I am not going to simply tell people of how my secret life is like. (though I am turning to be quite talkative now.) It will require me quite sometimes to build the trust and to be comfortable to share; though I have a lot of things to share, I am still picking the people to share my things to; the people whom I am comfortable with. And I think that is why I write a blog; to share of my feelings and things which I feel appropriate to share virtually (though sometimes things that I share would not be that beneficial to you people) and to express myself without bothering other people directly or to bore people I trusted to death. I mean if you are interested in my writings, you may proceed and vice versa. If I am about to talk to my friends, it requires them to be attentive to me and the story I am telling, and I believe sometimes even people who are close and thoughtful and sweet to me might be bored to butt in and listen to my business too. So here is my medium of expression. And I think I am more expressive when I am depressed. If I am happy, then I am happy. I do not really know how to express it and I actually like to fantasize the chronology as well as the continuance of happiness silently. (Oh, that’s supposed to be a secret OK.) I suppose that revealed the answer of why most of my posts were sad posts.

And friends, to know that you are reading and following my writings closely made me feel appreciated. Thank you so much. I never thought that you girls are reading it and interested in it, seriously because I write such bullshit. I write of the world that revolves around me and I think it is not that beautiful to amuse you girls. I wish I was special. I am just a nothing-special girl. But anyway, thank you kawan-kawan for the silent support. *sesi beremosi* . So I guess that my next post will be a happy post as requested. It’s 4.28 a.m. and I saw a cockroach under the table. And it managed to escape! I must go now because i have started to have the post traumatic syndrome. Take care.