Tag and My "oh-so-beautiful" Life

I was tagged by Beedadary, a coursemate of mine. The name is very rare. And unique too. And she's beautiful, I remind you.

1) Do you think you're hot?

Hot as in? Be it hot-tempered then it’s quite a yes for nowadays. Be it hot as in body temperature then it’s a yes too. (Hold on to my hands for living proof.)

2) Upload your favourite picture of you.

3) Why do you like that picture?
Because it symbolizes the best thing that we can do with our lips as it shows. Ouww. But my most-favorite picture would be my display image at the profile because that was me back then, when I have not put on my make-ups, (Hey, no lipsticks and no foundation. No gothic-look like what I used to put on now. And no pimples too. Yes. None at all.) I didn’t know how to paint my nails, (and didn’t even bother to get them painted once I was having my menstrual of course) and I have not gotten my hair colored yet that time. So it was the purest of me. Cuba compare dengan gambar yang di bawah ni. Ibu-ibu mesti beristighfar bila tengok. (highlight : warna pada kuku.) Oh.

4) When was the last time you ate pizza?
Pizza. Pizza. Now I am craving for it. You should take the blame for matter’s arising. Hehs. Last time when we went out to KLCC during the examination if I am not mistaken. Why?

5) The last song you listened to?
Hate Me by Blue October.

6) What are you doing right now besides this?
I am having this tiny lil voice inside of my head. And it’s torturing me. And I was forced to listen to it. And so, I am listening.

7) What name would you prefer besides yours?
Sofea, my darling fish. (She’s living in my Friendster profile anyway, virtually of course.) Marissa. (My friends from third language class call me with that name. I've told them so many times that that's not my name, that my name is Syahirah but they keep calling me with that name for a reason. And I think I like it. The name is beautiful.) And J!Ll too. (That’s a special name to me.)

People I tag:
1. Kak Jamie
2. Qasiyh
3. Shirley
4. Linziana
5. Athirah

8) Who is number 1?
Kakak angkat saya di sekolah menengah dahulu. Beliau sangat ceria dan baik hati. Selalu bagi saya kad-kad yang sweet, makanan dan dedication juga. Hiks. A cheerful sister who made me laugh of everything, blessed with a loving husband I suppose and soon to be a mother. Will make a young-hot-lovely momma, surely.

9) Number 3 is having a relationship with?
Oh-Ow, I have no idea but surely she’s in one. She’s gorgeous I tell you. My schoolmate back in secondary school. Lama tak jumpa ni but when we were in the final year of school, she was madly in-love with this Muslim boy and I was once believed that she’s going to convert and marry him. Hehs. Akhirnya Evertonia yang convert. *OK,iamoutofcontrol.thememories.it’sallcomingbacktome.nowimisseverybodyinschool*

10) Say something about number 5.
The junior next door back in MOZAC as well as my University-mate. Another shopaholic. And a darling girl too.

11) How about number 4?
Again my ex-schoolmate in MOZAC. Trademark beliau adalah gelaknya yang unik. A shopaholic too. Tidak boleh dipisahkan dengan Marseli. Ada gossip dengan encik F juga. Hehs. (Opss,did I say it out loud?)

12) Who is number 2?
My junior back in secondary school whom I adore for loudness and look. And the honesty too. You rock, girl!

OK, I am tagging the people from my past because I am missing them all. I was peeping through a few blogs of the people I was with during my school years and here I got to see my cousin's blog with his lover. Ahha, Gotcha! But it was set to private. I wish they will get married soon because they've been together since forever and I just can't wait to see them together. (Sorry if the blog is supposed to be a secret. Don't worry, I am not going to tell. Count on me! *giggles*)

Right, all the people are having such beautiful life and I can't help myself from feeling a little bit like a loser. You know, the feeling you get when you have absolutely nothing at all in life, when you reach nowhere better, you have nothing better, while others are so happy with their lovely spouse, some are getting children, some are engaged, some are getting married, most of them are working with big companies and I believe complimented with handsome amount of salary and they are all having blast with their perfect life while here I am, having nothing. Maybe I should learn how to be grateful again as some say I should. I can't help myself to envy those with love surrounds them, especially those who are engaging themselves in serious relationship. No, I am not up for marriage by now. Marriage is never a play thing, it's not a try-and-error game. No No No. I am just longing for the feeling of secure, to wake up in the morning and know by heart that there is someone by my side for good and for bad. Someone that I can turn to. Someone that I can rely on. Someone who will never get bored of knowing me, loving me, and being with me. Someone resistant, the one with the highest capasity to tolerate with my ever-changing moods, with the spoiled me. Someone who will make me as the priority over everything else. Oh I am so carried away with the illusion of perfect life I am imagining myself having. I don't know what I really want in life actually. Suddenly I am lost. No, I mean I know what I am wanting for, it's just that I think I am not going to be able to have it anyway. Maybe I am too demanding. Maybe I am expecting too much. OK, now I complicate things. Maybe I should stop reading the stupid novels. Maybe I should stop writing. Maybe I should really learn how to be grateful. Maybe I should just stop looking at people. But anyway, I am very happy to know that everybody is leading such a good life. Except me. Chill.

[note : I am happy to announce that my ex-bestfriend is getting married next week. (Yet another person I envy.) We are now good friends, of course, just not that close anymore. My class will start on December 30th, and she will be married a day before. I don't know whether to go or not to go. Boo me for being indecisive. So friends, should I go or should not?]